“The Pursuit of Happyness” 2006
Christopher Gardner Jr: Hey dad, I’m going pro!
Christopher Gardner Jr: I’m going pro!
Chris Gardner: Ooh! Ok I don’t know. you know you’ll probably be as good as I was. That’s kind of the way it works. I was below average. So you’ll probably ultimately rank somewhere around there so… You’ll excel at a lot of things just not this. So I don’t want you out here shooting this ball around all day and night. All right?
Christopher Gardner Jr: All right
Chris Gardner: All right go ahead…
Chris Gardner: Hey. Don’t ever let somebody tell you you can’t do something. Not even me. All right?
Christopher Gardner Jr: All right.
Chris Gardner: You got a dream… You gotta protect it. People can’t do somethin’ themselves, they wanna tell you you can’t do it. If you want somethin’, go get it. Period.
In this powerful scene between a father and his son we really get a glimpse of the impact of words on a individual. In everyday life it is a lot more subtle and unlike Chris Gardner most people are never aware of the impact of their words. Chris is able to reduce the impact of his discouraging comments by offering some positive advice to his son. In all likelihood, the damage has already been done. The reality is that negative experiences have a greater impact than positive ones. Christopher’s disposition makes it quite obvious that his father’s words hit really hard. The only way to undo the negative impact would be through continuous positive reinforcement.
In my experience it is not uncommon to predict someone’s ability to complete a task based on our own abilities.
I am very guilty of this myself. Chris projects his own shortcomings as a basketball player onto his son. He uses himself as a measuring stick for his son. The result is he a he saps away all of Christopher’s enthusiasm. At this point he has very little interest in continuing shooting the basketball.
Don’t ever let somebody tell you you can’t do something.
One of most important characteristics that successful people have is that they do not accept “no” for an answer. It is their belief that anything is possible for them. Will smith teaches his son a very valuable life lesson. Sometimes those closest to us are the ones who discourage us the most. We value what they input and often take their words to heart.